FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE August 29, 2010
BROOKLINE, MASSACHUSETTS, USA: Saab officially acknowledged today that Steven Wade, aka Swade, proprietor of the Saab automotive enthusiast website SaabsUnited.com, is a true Saab rockstar, only without the drugs and groupies. With this new-found public affection Steven has been inundated with admirers for a good 25 minutes, maybe 30.
“It’s been a long time coming,” observed Parveen Batish, marketing guru of Saab Cars North America. “He’s was ‘starving artist’, ‘up-and-comer’ and ‘well-known authority’ in succession. And how can you forget the lengthy stint as ‘media darling’? None of us thought he’d ever make it beyond that, but here we are. Quite stunning, actually.”
With such lofty public status and affection comes the attention of the masses, and today’s crowd at Swedish Car Day 2010 is no exception. Crowds thronged to see the antipodean pundit, who was obviously in his element among Saab and Volvo enthusiasts. “I read the blog every day,” said one Saab enthusiast, who asked not to be named. “However, that may change since he referred to Pierre [Belperron, the organizer of Swedish Car Day] as ‘that little guy’ during his presentation.” Speaking to tens of Saab enthusiasts after his speaking engagement, Steven regaled the eager attendees with tales of his life as a “man with a lot of time on his hands.”
Indeed, out on the grounds amongst the fabulous display of Swedish iron, Steven seemed to barely notice the cars on display, preferring to greet complete strangers as they approached him for autographs, handshakes and locks of his hair. “I touched him!!!” one excited young woman shrieked, running towards her car with her hands held high. Later, she was seen habitually re-applying hand sanitizer as she walked through the museum muttering something about “inoculations”.
Victor Muller, CEO of Spyker Cars NA, parent company of Saab Automobile, and Jan Ake Jonsson, President of Saab Automobile, released a joint statement, saying, “Steven Wade is truly a rockstar that helped to save our brand. We couldn’t have done it without him, yet we are currently seeking a replacement. You know how temperamental rockstars can be. Before long Swade will be asking for top billing, vegetarian meals and sorted M&M’s.”
Of course, this is satire. I’ve got a real post about Swade’s rock star status in my head that will come in about a day. Swade really is a rockstar, of course.